10,000 B.C.
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 Diverting, if VERY Derivative Prehistoric Saga... If, while munching popcorn and viewing Roland Emmerich's latest saga, "10,000 B.C.", you keep sensing an acute case of deja-vu, don't be alarmed...the film is eerily similar to Mel Gibson's 2006 "Apocalypto" (simply switch the Mayans to Atlanteans, and toss in some mastodons), with moments of the Karl Urban 2007 Viking/Native American epic, "Pathfinder" slipped in for good measure, and a finale lifted from Emmerich's own 1994 Sci-Fi near-classic, "Stargate" (I half expected Kurt Russell and James Spader to emerge from the rubble of the fallen pyramid). Clearly, these 'lifts' are something for the Writer's Guild of America to muse over, but for a non-discriminating viewer, the film is an acceptable time-passer, if no classic. The story, surprisingly, is often a bit flat, although the CGI mastodons, man-eating ostriches, and a saber-tooth tiger are fun (if not particularly believable). As is frequently the case in these tales (at least since "Conan the Barbarian"), prehistoric humans were so hardy that they could survive near-Arctic cold in a minimum of clothing, were so unfamiliar with horses and boats that they referred to them as "four-legged monsters" and "big birds", yet had mastered engineering to a point where they were creating spectacular structures rivaling modern Las Vegas at it's gaudiest. The logic of all this escapes me, but Emmerich is a master of "don't think, just watch" storytelling, and makes it all work. With bloodless battles, little romance (other than talk), and clearly-defined 'good guys' and 'bad guys', this is a film you can view with the entire family, which is a plus, these days! So, if your expectations aren't too high, this may be a good addition for your library. "A Prophecy Has Many Faces" ~ Chasing Wooly Mammoths, Claiming The White Spear & Other Prehistoric Pastimes The '08 release '10,000 BC' is a visually alluring piece of cinema to be sure with a solid soundtrack that desires a little bit more storyline and originality to left it out of mediocrity. Numerous reviews have already compared this film to `Apocalypto' and I hate to be repetitive but I must agree. With the inclusion of pyramids and Sphinx in the storyline, along with the mention of rulers coming from the stars, or arriving from a sinking continent (Altantis) there were definitely strong hints of `Stargate' as well. From a personal perspective I believe the writers missed a great opportunity by not exploring this extraterrestrial aspect further. However that's just wishful thinking on my part. Not much here of interest for the adults, but a young audience will probably love it, you know how they feel about dinosaurs.  Apocalypto meets Braveheart meets the Ten Commandments ...or something. I mean, this is such a mishmash that it's hard to know where to begin. spoilers below So cavemen are living in the Ice Age, but if they walk a few miles, they discover savannas and deserts. Oh, and there are slaves and mammoths being used to build pyramids. Is this Africa or South America or what? And the abducted young woman never gets her makeup messed up, even when she's dragged along and beaten and kept as a slave. Riiiiiight. And check this out: this woman receives a fatal wound but recovers a few minutes later because some old lady back in her home camp dies and lets her live, or whatever. Really, what does it matter by then? Grab some candy and a drink, sit back and be entertained, but for gosh sakes, don't expect a history lesson.  Groans... This was bad. I'm not talking fun bad (Showgirls), I'm talking baaaad bad. Roland Emmerich needs to be kept away from a camera. He makes Ed Wood look like Hitchcock. | |||||||||||||
